St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about hockey. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral ice between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. "Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."
"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed, "We've got all the referees."

A South Carolina Sting Rays fan was driving home from work and he passed by the local priest. He stops and offers him a lift. The priest thanks him kindly and together they proceed to the church to drop the priest off.

On the way they pass a man walking his dog on the other side of the road; on closer inspection the man was seen to be wearing a replica Pee Dee Pride sweater. Now the guy hated the Pride and suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to run his car into him. He put his foot down on the accelerator and tried to hit him. At the last minute the PD fan jumped out of the way. The driver of the car heard a bang but he was sure he'd missed him.

The two men proceeded to the church in silence and the 'Rays fan pulled up and said, "Look Father, I'm really sorry about that incident back there. I dont know what came over me, can you forgive me father??" The Priest replied "Of course I can forgive you my son, I GOT HIM WITH THE CAR DOOR"

Four hockey fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team, and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their hockey team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all.

They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Ranger fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for the Rangers!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Devils fan threw himself off the mountain, proclaiming, "This is for the Devils"!

Seeing this, the Flyers fan walked over and shouted, "This is for everyone!" and pushed the Penguins fan off the side of the mountain.
sent to me by Jessica

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits on a bench weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A hockey coach?"
sent to me by Stranger

So this hockey fan dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter greets him at the Pearly Gates to show him inside, where he is delighted to find that heaven is full of hockey rinks and never-ending pickup games to play. At the end of the tour, they walk by one rink with only one guy skating around, making some nifty moves. "Who is that?" asks the hockey fan. "Oh..." St. Peter sighs, "that's God, but he thinks he's Bobby Orr."
sent to me by Kerri

A drunk man decides to go ice fishing. He finds the perfect spot and gets ready to stat drilling a hole. All of a sudden a loud voice booms from above "you won't find any fish there.". The drunk ignores the voice, thinking he's just imagining it, and starts again. Again, the voice from above warns him that he will find no fish. Once more the drunk ignores the voice and attempts to start drilling. Finally the voice says "This is the final time I'm going to tell you...THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!" The drunk then asks "Are you God? Is that how you know there are no fish?" The voice responds "No, I am the manager of this ice hockey rink".

A woman had tickets to game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals right at center ice. As she sits down, a man comes down & asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to her.

"No," she says, "the seat is empty."

"This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"

She says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my husband, but he passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative, or even a neighbor - to take the seat?"

The woman shakes her head "No. They're all at the funeral."

(Lastly, not a hockey joke, but sports related, and I'm sure most of us can relate to this)
Comedy star Jay Leno shares this observation: "I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football, and I have 20/20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee."